Dasalem Luminous Silverstar 
Counselling Service

On the 21st of August 2021, I facilitated a group counselling session. From a Christian and Biblical perspective, we discussed the definition of loss, grief and bereavement, we also explored different types of loss grief and bereavement. By sharing our experiences we were comforted in knowing that we are not alone.  As Christians, we believe that one day in the presence of our ‘Messiah’ our tears will be wiped away. 

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Then I saw "a new heaven and a new earth," for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." 

Revelation 21:1-4 (NIV)

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Being a Christian does not make us immune from experiencing the pain of death. As a Biblical therapist, I have witnessed that the death of our loved ones can be difficult and affect our lives significantly. This life-changing event presents major challenges for the bereaved. The grieving process interacts with our core concerns of gaining mastery and control over our environment. Having a sense of belonging, seeking fairness we might engage in bargaining. (In our minds we try to explain the things that we could have done. In this phase, we ask a lot of ‘what if questions’ “If only I had treated my sister, better.” “If I had known that she would die I would have visited her more often.”) Apart from making deals with ourselves as Christians, we also make deals with God. We might promise God that we will be a better Christian and engage in charitable activities.  These are examples of bargains that counselees share with me as their counsellor.  

1 Peter 5:7 reads: Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Prayer is a necessary strategy that Christians apply to all situations.

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Grief is an emotion experienced by a number of individuals and it’s inevitable to our experience. The Bible narrates several accounts of the process of grief throughout its pages. Christians can take comfort in realising that multiple Bible characters experienced deep loss and sadness; for example Job, Naomi, Hannah, and David. Even Jesus mourned. Following the death of Lazarus, Jesus went to the village of Bethany, where Lazarus was buried. When He saw Martha and the other mourners weeping, Jesus also wept. John 11:35 reads, Jesus wept. 

Christian believers have the hope of Christ, and we know that He is strong enough to carry our burdens. Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus, but being the Son of God did not prevent Jesus from entering into the grief of His friends.  Today Jesus enters our grief.